I made a comment over at http://www.feministe.us/blog/archives/2009/07/11/ad-hominems-etc/ that made me understand some of my issues.
I think the part of most people's brains that deal with rules and norms of society for me is devoted to abstract thought.
I made a post that I thought was fairly innocent and it did not turn out to provide what I expected.
I simply don't have the emotional triggers that most people have. I don't get disgusted easily (it has to have smells or deal with eyes for the most part). I identify with this study http://www.livescience.com/culture/090604-conservative-disgust.html As a child that caused me a lot of issues because I had a harder time judging what other people would be disgusted by.
That's probably why I have such trouble with that blog. It makes an extra effort to be sensitive to all the things that I have trouble with.
But I also have trouble in fairly normal spaces. The office, or even places that don't take offense easily. That causes me to be really fearful of talking or interacting with other people. Likewise I have an extreme amount of trouble controlling my emotions and that also makes people feel uncomfortable.
I don't easily understand what is extremely offensive or what is not very offensive to most people.
Though I do have some emotional triggers. If someone implies that I am a man I have a similar reaction.
My wife I felt instantly comfortable around which is the exact opposite of how I feel around most people. Not because she is like me because she isn't. But she does appreciate my sense of humor.
Hopefully in the future this realization will make it easier for me to logically think in those situations where I tend to be overcome with fear. Then I can focus on being more bland an inoffensive and not being so fearful of bland conversations.
Edit: update Interestingly enough the next link I looked at on that site was http://actsoffaithinloveandlife.blogspot.com/2009/07/leaving-damaged-beyond-recognition.html which was about a similar issue. Which points to the fact that you have to make things bland enough for the entire community.